


all the memories collected, moments you could never touch

by buttercupp



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anger, Denial, Dont read the description if you haven’t seen the movie, Unfinished Business, endgame spoilers, this doesn’t have a happy ending guys 🥺, what was tony thinking while he was dying??? read this to see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-13 03:29:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18932491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttercupp/pseuds/buttercupp
Summary: The ghost of old words grazed across his mind, “You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play”





	all the memories collected, moments you could never touch

Tony falls back onto rubble and slides to the ground.

 

He is dying.

 

Tony is dying and he is not okay with it, he can’t accept it— no, he _won’t_ accept it.

 

Tony can’t feel the right side of his body, it’s all covered in full thickness burns. The energy from the gauntlet burned through his skin to the subcutaneous tissue, he feels the tightness of it pulling on his healthy, untouched skin. And on the untouched and healthy side of his body, it burns. It‘s an agonizing burning pain like no other, as if someone went and tore through every atom in his body.

 

The ghost of old words grazed across his mind. “ _You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play”_

 

God, he wished that were true. Because, Jesus— he has a wife and kids. He has Rhodey and Happy and May and Nebula and he doesn’t want to leave them. He hasn’t had enough time with them, this isn’t fair. He wanted to grow old with them and look back on memories, to make more.

 

He can barely see.

 

A shape that strongly resembles Rhodey enters Tony’s field of view. He looks up to his best friend, Tony can’t make out the expression on Rhodes’ face.

 

He can’t even have the luxury of seeing everyone’s faces before he goes. It’s not fair.

 

Tony wants to tell Rhodey he loves him, that he’ll miss him but he can’t.

 

He feels the hand of the War Machine suit muss up his hair, then a hand on his shoulder. There was silence. He didn’t know if it was because his hearing was shot, or if Rhodey was just silent.

 

It was the latter,

 

“Mr.Stark?” The voice was tentative at first. “Hey Mr.Stark, can you hear me?” Tony’s heart pained from the sound of Peter’s scared and panicked voice. He could hear his son’s breathing shake, “It’s Peter. We won Mr.Stark, we won.” He said.

 

“It’s gonna be okay, Pete.” Tony tried, his mouth didn’t even move. This isn’t fair.

 

“Tony.” Peter pleaded, voice full of hurt.

 

 _I did this,_ Tony thought. _It’s my fault, don’t blame yourself, kid._

 

Pepper comes into view, “Hey.”

 

Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper _PepperPepperPepper_

 

“Pep.” Tony whispers.

 

Pepper grabs his hand. “Friday?”

 

Tony wants to scream.

 

This isn’t fair.

 

_“Life functions critical.”_

 

Tony wants to comfort her. A smile spreads across his face, he’s crying. He‘s going now. She didn’t need to see this, he turns his head—

 

“Tony, look at me.” He uses all he has left, turns back to her, “We’re gonna be okay.”

 

He wants to tell Pepper that he doesn’t think they’re all gonna be okay. Her, Morgan, Rhodey, Harley, Peter, Happy, May, Nebula, he needs to be there for all of them, he _wants_ to be there for all of them. He didn’t have enough time. Five years isn’t enough time this isn’t fair, this isn’t fair, his life isn’t fair, _nothing is ever fair—_

 

Tony thinks that the only thing that Rhodey had gotten wrong about Tony was the fact that Tony was going to get a good ending.Tony always knew life wouldn’t end nicely for him, he doesn’t deserve the good ending.

 

_Don't let go too soon, but don't hold on too long._

 

“You can rest now.” Pepper said.

 

_Don't let go too soon, but don't hold on too long._

 

No, he isn’t going to rest he’s going to keep going, keep fighting, he’s going to stay alive. He is strong he will hold out.

 

But life isn’t fair and,

 

Life isn’t fair and he can’t keep his head upright anymore, his vision is fading, it’s fading, it’s fading, it’s faded, there’s nothing but black now, but he wants to hold on— he doesn’t let his eyes close he wants to hold on, _he wants to hold on_ , but his breathing stops, his heart stops. He’s not gone yet, he can still hear, they say it’s the last sense to go.

 

He hears the suit power down, there’s a sob—

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this last night and wanted to share, i’m sorry hahahah :))
> 
> i don’t know why I wrote this oml. i always write things with endings that let you know that everything’s gonna be alright
> 
> leave feedback? please <3


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